I have always found that there are two states of inspiration that I seem to bounce between. The first is a kind of visual overdrive and the second is almost like I’m blind to everything.
When my mind is in its photography overdrive mode, I see photos everywhere and often in the most ordinary of places and subjects. This overdrive is a great high to have to begin with, but it quickly becomes too much for me to handle because I simply, can’t keep up.
I love taking photos, I think that would be fairly obvious but there are just so many hours in the day, and while carrying a camera around 24/7 so that I could capture everything would be a dream it’s not a reality.
Then, this causes two things, burnout and a kind of depression. (I don’t know how else to explain it. Maybe, calling it a ‘funk’ might be a little more suitable?)
When this occurs I simply have no interest in picking up my camera at all and all of the things that I started seeing everywhere, disappear, and then, worse still is that I have trouble finding them again.
That’s when I tend to fall into a weird funk which just seems fucking impossible to get out of.
Then, out of nowhere and when I least expect it, something catches my eye, and the cycle starts all over again. As I said, it’s exhausting.
Most creative people I know or have spoken with go through similar (if not the same) types of highs and lows. Each of us usually has our ways of coping with them, but personally, I’m trying very hard to find that happy middle ground.
It’s an internal struggle that I feel like I’m winning but tomorrow is another day, and just like the water will eventually wear away at the cliff, I’m sure the funk will find its way back in again.
I think it’s that funk that gives me my edge, and I sometimes secretly welcome it to find me because the high I get when it disappears is just so good but, it’s just such a hard wave to ride sometime that I wonder if there’s an easier way.